Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
