I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
