What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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