Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think I won the penis lottery.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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