Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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