never play flip cup with pint glasses
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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