Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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