"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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