her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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