Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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