Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
