Those balls look pretty dangerous.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
