Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
