the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You ruined the universe
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
