he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
All the doctor said was why
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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