so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
