I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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