I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
