I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
