Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
