my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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