Is it because I queefed?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize