jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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