I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
