Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize