I want to stick my p in your. b.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize