i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
