my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
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You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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