Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
