I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
