Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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