well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he thought i was a dude.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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