Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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