he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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