This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
