i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Two words: nipple clamps
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