We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
