just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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