As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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