the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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