Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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