Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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