We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
