I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
