My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
