Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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