Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
