my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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