You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
