it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think I am morally bankrupt
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
