I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
