Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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