i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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