Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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