you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
