You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
