I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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