Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
