Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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