So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
