Betty ford says i'm here all night
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
honey bunches of taint.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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