What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
two words: eviction party
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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