He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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