some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
