Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
These tits shall not be calmed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
