i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
