You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
