I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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