Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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